The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Senator Ted Kennedy died in his home last night, August 25 2009, at the age of 77 from a year-long battle with brain cancer.



The Irish Lion of the Senate is gone. In respect, I'm going to let someone else say the things I wish I had the eloquence to say.

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WATCHMEN DVD Review: More is MOORE

Just got my new Watchmen DVD from Amazon, and spent the last 2 nights (yes, 2) watching it. My review:

GODDAMIT, THIS IS JUST SUCH A GREAT FUCKING MOVIE.

The DVD is the Director's Cut, where Zack Snyder added 24 minutes that had been cut from the theatrical version. In most cases, I find scenes picked up from the cutting room floor and re-added to be unnecessary-- there was a reason they were cut, right?

But this is not the case for WATCHMEN. We get to see Hollis's murder (VERY brutal), more of the developing relationship between Dan/Niteowl and Laurie/Silk Spectre II, more Comedian, more Rorshach, more everything. And in this case, more is MOORE.

I cannot possibly know what Alan Moore may have thought of the film version of his vision, but I am hoping he is pleased. There were rumors that he was not happy with V for Vendetta (neither was I-- Natalie Portman was hopelessly miscast), and let's NOT EVEN talk about League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (I think I just threw up a little in my mouth).

But the WATCHMEN crew knew what the stakes were in filming the unfilmable, and handled it with profound reverance and genuine artistry. And I may be the ONLY person alive who actually LIKED Malin Ackerman's performance as Laurie. As a fan of the graphic novel, I thought she nailed Laurie-- obtuse, a little angry, humorless, yet vulnerable and lonely, and DEFINITELY her father's daughter.

WATCHMEN is what Superman Returns SHOULD have been, a labor of love AND utmost respect for the genius that created it.

We're Even Now. K?

So the Nutter Brigade has found a hero/victim (to them, it's pretty much the same thing) in Kenneth Gladney, the black conservative who allegedly suffered a "savage beating" at the hands of SEIU "thugs" in St. Louis this past weekend. Oh, what screaming and lace-renting and hair-pulling we have had to endure from the Neo-Confederates on this one.

Well, it seems we get our chance to return the favor:

Yup, that's William Kostric, the NRA-lovin' gun-totin' freedom (fry) fighter who thought it was a good idea to show up to a presidential event with a GUN.

Now, in defense of Mr. Kostric (egads), there are some facts that we need to be aware of. He had a permit for the gun, it was NOT concealed and, according to New Hampshire firearms law, he could carry it as long as he was on private property with the landowner's permission, which he was and had. Now with that being said...

WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, DUDE??????? Answer: "I'ze gonna get meze on dat dere TV!"

Mission accomplished (snick). Kostric ended up on Hardball, where he endured a rousing verbal spanky from Tweety himself.

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Needless to say, the lefty blogosphere is burning up about this, just as the righty blogosphere is about Gladney. So, in my eyes, that makes all of us even.

Now can I have health care, please?

"You Can Pry My Charmin OUTTA MY COLD DEAD HAND!"

It's offical, folks. We're on our way to Socialist Hell.

From Talking Points Memo:

Town Haller Envisions Future With Toilet Paper Rationing
By Rachel Slajda - August 11, 2009, 11:53AM

A town hall attendee who told Sen. Arlen Specer (D-PA) that she doesn't want to see America turn into Russia appeared on Fox News after the event and offered her chilling view of the country's future:

I know that years down the road, I don't want my children coming to me and asking me, 'Mom, why didn't you do anything? Why do we have to wait in line for, I don't know, toilet paper or anything?' I don't want to have to tell them I didn't do anything. As a normal citizen, the most I feel like I can do is come to this town hall meeting.
"The country is slowly being ripped apart," said Katy Abram, who identified herself as someone who didn't care about politics until the last few years. "It scares the life out of me."



Abram was one of 30 people selected to ask a question to Specter. When she got up, she said, in part, "It's not about health care ... It's about the systematic dismantling of this country ... I don't want this country turning into Russia, turning into a socialized country. I want to restore this country to what it was under the Constitution."

http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/2009/08/town-haller-envisions-future-with-toilet-paper-rationing.php?ref=fpb

Yes, this is a sad day, indeed, when we as Ameerikans will have to stand in line for our cloudy-cottony-ass softness, while Comrade Obama passes out "government-issued" toilet paper:



BTW, it's Cuba with the TP shortage, not Russia. And neither is a socialist country.

Son of "If It Starts with 'C' and Rhymes with 'Runt'..." The SEQUEL

Ah, Wasilla Peron strikes again:

After "Death Panel" Claim, Palin Now Calls For Civility

In a Facebook posting on Friday, Palin lashed out a scenario "in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' whether they are worthy of health care."

Um...ya know, I can't even begin to come up with an iota of snark that could possibly make that statement even more ridiculous and insidious. So I'll just let Sarah do it:

Now, in her latest Facebook entry, Palin seems to be wanting to change the subject.

She writes:
There are many disturbing details in the current bill that Washington is trying to rush through Congress, but we must stick to a discussion of the issues and not get sidetracked by tactics that can be accused of leading to intimidation or harassment. Such tactics diminish our nation's civil discourse which we need now more than ever because the fine print in this outrageous health care proposal must be understood clearly and not get lost in conscientious voters' passion to want to make elected officials hear what we are saying. Let's not give the proponents of nationalized health care any reason to criticize us.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/10/palin-backs-off-death-pan_n_255317.html

Let the pimp-slapping begin.

Crashing the Hitler "Love-In"

Boy, does America LOVE Hitler or what????

I mean, he's just downright EVERYWHERE these days! At health care town halls, on protest signs made by 1st graders and then held by their parents.



Or made by parents and held by 1st graders, as such:



Wait, these kids are even younger!! AW, isn't that just PRECIOUS???????

Then there are those who actually put a little time and effort into their signs:



It helps to have a non-union cousin working at Kinko's!

Ah, takes me back...follow me, children, to a place long ago, circa 2004:



Know what? It's just as stupid now as it was then. As much as I despised Bush, I always thought comparing him to Hitler was childish and WAY too easy. Bush was not Hitler.

He was Nero.



But I digress...

So why the new wave of Hit-LURVE sweeping the nation? One very simple reason:

Hitler, to anyone under the age of 50, is not REAL. He's a monster to scare children with. Hitler has become a fictional charcater, right up there with Emperor Palpatine, Dr. Doom, and Governor Sarah Palin. (Just kidding. We all know Dr. Doom is real, duh). Hitler to us has become what Napoleon was to our grandparents-- a bad guy who lived in the past, hence he holds no real meaning to us except when we need him as a stunt boogeyman.

Or to compare him to a poopyhead we just don't like.

I came across this wonderful blog entry, and I'd like to share it with you all. Puts things in a very clear perspective from someone who has had a little more experience dealing with REAL Nazis:

My grandfather was a devout Nazi until his death in 1989. He never talked about killing anyone nor did he have any leading role during the Third Reich (he was an engineering teacher), but there was always that hostility toward all things foreign, toward liberal ideas, toward socialists (and in post-war Germany, Social Democrats). Sound familiar? The incredible destruction and collapse of his beloved country and the extreme suffering and poverty it caused his family was always blamed on outsiders, the enemy who was lurking from all corners just to mess with his pure Germany.

Thing is, my grandfather was a loving family man, with the sweetest wife you could imagine (grandma passed in 1984), raising four sons in the middle of death and destruction. I knew him to be a strong-willed man with a good sense of humor. A little intimidating for a child like myself, but also full of stories. I always enjoyed visiting my grandparents as a kid — we would go sailing, hiking and camping — and if it weren’t for all the iron cross, eagle and swastika stickers on his bookshelf, I would consider my grandparents’ house and family vibe completely normal. In other words, my grandfather was a HUMAN BEING.

Now before anyone gets their grundies in a bind, read on:

In the past few years I think my people have collectively arrived at a new junction where we are realizing that there are infinitely more profound ways to deal with our past beyond denial, ignorance, or paralysis. Movies like Downfall that personalize Hitler would have been unthinkable just a few years ago. To link yourself with a man and a time that you have learned to associate with such inhuman monstrosity is almost impossible to process. See, if we accept Hitler as an archetype of pure evil it puts him outside of our human capacity to process, learn and evolve. But if we let in the truly scary thought that Hitler was a human being we suddenly allow ourselves the chance for healing the part within us that is capable of such profound hatred.

http://svenworld.wordpress.com/2009/08/08/so-you-wanna-talk-about-hitler/#comment-79

In other words, stop making him a cartoon. And stop using his image to try to make a point, unless you are talking about Pol Pot or Idi Amin or some other psycho-bastard who killed a shitload of his own people because he thought it was funny.

Say it with me-- Barack Obama is NOT Hitler. George Bush is NOT HITLER. NO ONE IS HITLER BUT HITLER. Period.

Unless, of course, you're Dick Shawn. Then MAYBE you're Hitler.

Snark-Free Zone Today

Sorry folks, not up for much snark today. I'm trying to be optimistic, I really am, but the last couple days...well, they've been draining, to say the least.

The health care town halls. Now, I'm not so naive to think that there wasn't going to be ANY Sturm und Dram regarding health care, but I truly didn't believe that 1 in 4 Americans suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder. Now, I do. You could have a 20 foot wall painted with a daisy right in front of the Nutter Brigade, and they would insist that it is a rose-- and a dead one on top of that.

Pushing and shoving and beating on doors? Puhleeze, THAT is not violence. THIS is violence:



Hubert Humphrey. Truer words have rarely been spoken.

But are we on our way back to 1968? Or worse, 1861?

This goes on for a while, folks. Feel free to fast forward or click it off.



Now I can understand ignorance in 1861, since only 5% of the American population could read. But there's no excuse for it now.

They're scared. REAL scared. Not of universal health care, that's just the faux outrage du jour. No, they're scared because, in America, they are seeing the end of Myth of the Master Race, and the beginning of its Legacy. Old white guys can't call the shots as easily as they could just a year ago. Non-whites are in the Cabinet, the Supreme Court, Congress.

The White House.

For the first time in American history, they are rapidly becoming a minority. And well...let's say white people's track record dealing with minorities hasn't exactly been stellar.

And now...what will happen to THEM? How shall the Brown people exact their revenge? Maybe by enslaving them, kidnapping them, putting them in irons and shipping them across the globe? Or maybe by bio-warfare, like giving them blankets infected with small pox, or killing off their main food supply (the buffalo) to the brink of extinction? Or rounding them up, putting them in internment camps because they're white (like the Japanese in 1942)? Or denying them housing, jobs, country club memberships, college scholarships because they 'killed' the son of the one true God 2000 years ago?

Wow. No wonder they're scared. Maybe I should be too. So why aren't I?

Because I live in the center of African American culture, Harlem. And in the five years I've been here, I've never been robbed. Or sexually assaulted. Or burgled. Or attacked. Have I been harrassed? Sure, but I live in New York, hello. Have I been hit on? Sure, but that's only because I'm hot. Nah, j/k. Or am I...?


See, I do this zany thing when I leave the house and see my neighbors. I smile and say good morning. I help the elderly with their groceries. I let the kids play with my dogs and answer their million questions. I just sort of smile and giggle when men hit on me on the street, give them a little wave, and go on my way. I don't avoid eye contact, I don't keep my head down, I don't run when someone whistles at me.

I don't treat my fellow Americans as if they were ghosts. And ya know, I've discovered I get a pretty nice response to that.

I actually regard myself lucky. I am one of the few white Americans who has actually lived with minorities, AS a minority. Puts a whole differest perspective on shit, lemme tell you.

So let the children wail because a guy got pushed. That was unfortunate, and I wish it hadn't happened. But all people, no matter what color, are HUMAN, and human beings are really great at fucking things up at incredibly inappropriate times. But when the wails are accompanied by bully sticks, black jacks, and then maybe guns...that's when the children get a spanking.

And on that note, I leave you with a little play-out. I still believe folks. Some days are harder than others, but I still believe.

"Here, Son, Lemme Show You How We Do It....In My Mom's Basement."

So, Senator Grassley (R) of Iowa thinks Barack Obama doesn't know how Congress works.

From TheHill.com:

"President Obama is too inexperienced in national politics to really understand the legislative process, Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) said Wednesday.

Grassley, who as a lead negotiator of the bipartisan healthcare reform deal the president supports has dealt often with Obama, said that while he likes the president personally, Obama effectively only had two years of experience in national politics.

"I think that he is a good person, and good-intentioned," Grassley, the ranking member of the Senate Finance Committee, said in a radio interview. "But I believe he didn't serve in government long enough to understand really how things work."

http://briefingroom.thehill.com/2009/08/05/grassley-obama-too-inexperienced-to-understand-how-congress-works/

Well, thankfully, the Daily Show last night obtained some video of the good Senator from Iowa on how things get done in the Senate. Prepared to be SCHOOLED, GRASSLEY-STYLE:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Chuck Grassley's Debt and Deficit Dragon
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Spinal Tap Performance

I was just waiting for the part where Grassley rolls a 20-sided die and uses his enchanted morning star to take down a gelatinous cube.

HAPPY BERFDAY MR. PRESIDENT!

For You, Big O. Why not, right?

Bill "Big Dick" Clinton-- Still Swingin' After All These Years

Former President Bill Clinton, after visiting personally Kim Jong Il during a private mission, has negotiated the release of Laura Ling and Euna Lee, two American journalists that have been captives of the North Korean regime for the last four months.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/04/north-korea-welcomes-bill_n_250682.html

Good job, Mr. President.

If It Starts With a 'C' and Rhymes with "Runt"...

It must be this correspondence-school lawyer/realtor/dentist/Mary Kay Saleslady of the Year beotch.

Behold the Enola Gay of crazy.

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Think she gets a pink Cadillac for this?

Not One, But THREE Totally Real "Yeah-Huh They Are Shut Up You Stoopid" Obama Kenyan Birth Certificates

Gotta love the American public school system, don'cha?

Totally Real Obama Kenyan Birth Certificate Contestant #1:



Hey, no one told me that Kenya was so technologically advanced in 1961 that they had a XEROX PRINTER AND COPIER!!

But, wait, that one IS a fake, cuz this one's...



Got a TEAR in it!!!! Doesn't that prove that it's AUTHENTIC??? Cuz, it's like, OLD or something???

Back in my college theater days, when I was designing lighting and props and probably acting in the same show, we had a method called "distressing". Distressing is taking something new and making it look old. Know what we used? Coffee. Just brush a little diluted coffee on a piece of paper, let it air dry, and gently and precisely make a few little rips in it. Presto, a 45 year old document! Or a hundred year old document. Or a five hundred year old document. You get the drift. Want it to look older? ADD MORE RIPS AND COFFEE!!!

But the paranoid fun doesn't stop there! Cuz then a THIRD one's reared it's totally real head:


I...don't even know what this is.

And now, sanity. From the Daily Kos:

First, the hospital is Coast Provincial General Hospital (sometimes said to be Coast Province General Hospital), not Coast General Hospital.

Second, Kenya was a Dominion the date this certificate was allegedly issued and would not become a republic for 8 months.

Third, Mombasa belonged to Zanzibar when Obama was born, not Kenya.

Fourth, Obama's father's village would be nearer to Nairobi, not Mombasa.

Fifth, the number 47O44-- 47 is Obama's age when he became president, followed by the letter O (not a zero) followed by 44--he is the 44th president.

Sixth, EF Lavender is a laundry detergent.

Seventh, would a nation with a large number of Muslims actually say "Christian name" (as opposed to name) on the birth certificate?

Eigth, his father (born in 1961) would have been 24 or 25 when he was born and not 26

Ninth, it was called the "Central Nyanza District," not Nyanza Province. The regions were changed to provinces in 1970.

And now, a little more sanity. I know, no fun at all, huh?

The document is dated 5 August 1964 -- a Saturday. From what I can find, Kenyan guvmint offices close early on Friday and are closed on Saturdays. Oooops [...]

This piece of paper certainly looks nice and new to be 45 years old -- unless the Kenyans were using acid-free paper back in 1964. Heh, heh.

Finally, Officials of Coast Province General Hospital reported: “We do not have computerized records going back to the 1960’s and can only sort through our archives by hand,” Dr. Christopher Mwanga, an administrator at the Mombasa hospital tells GLOBE. “We have searched for all the names of babies born on Aug. 4, 1961, and have not found the name of Barack Hussein Obama. That is all I can tell you.”

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/8/2/761144/-Debunking-the-unbearably-stupid

Now, who exactly is behind all this birther nonsense? Well, clutch my pearls, whod've thunk it:

WHITE-SUPREMACIST WEB SITES TOUTING OBAMA'S ALLEGED FOREIGN BIRTH

The belief that Obama is a foreigner has spread like wildfire among white- supremacist circles and Web sites, including Stormfront, the largest and best-known self-styled "white nationalist" site on the Web; the Council of Conservative Citizens, listed by the Southern Poverty Law Center as "the largest white nationalist group in America," a reincarnation of the old White Citizens Councils that were formed to resist desegregation in the 1950s and 1960s; and VDARE.com, a virulently anti-immigrant site.

That white-supremacist groups are heavily involved in the "Birther Movement" against the president should come as no surprise, given the massive coronary they collectively suffered last November when Obama was elected. According to the Anti-Defamation League (ADL), which monitors and exposes extremist activity and rhetoric, anger among white supremacists and other right-wing extremists in response to Obama's victory "resulted in an avalanche of vitriolic postings on racist Web sites" -- at one point, causing Stormfront's server to crash.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/8/3/761194/-Exposed:-White-Supremacists-Heavily-Involved-in-Birther-Movement-

I don't know whether to laugh, weep, or run to Sweden.

The Sexiest Guys on TV

What can I say? I got a thing for nerdy guys with pyromanic tendencies.